Big Problems, ONE Solution

 As many of you know, I have a couple of medical ailments. I have suffered from anxiety since I was 8 years old, I have been "diagnosed" with clinical depression since 18. At 18 years old, I also was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Made sense, because if anyone bumped into me, not even hard, I would get this immense pain that lasted way longer than "normal". 

I was sick a lot all my life; colds, tonsillitis, etc. My anxiety caused a lot of tummy issues, which led me to miss a lot of school as well. The summer I was 14, I had tonsillitis three times.  I don't know why they were never taken out... After college, I finally got them removed as they were chronically infected. So basically, I had tonsillitis 24/7/365, and my immune system was attacking that infection for a long time. The doc gave me a HUGE shot of penicillin, which I had taken my whole life, and I had an allergic reaction: got a fever and hives. Then my doc put me on sulfa, which he wanted me on until I got my tonsils out, and I had anaphylaxis. I turned purple, scared the crap out of my Mom, couldn't breathe, and so on.  I will tell you though, when you're purple and get half dragged into an Urgent Care, you get LOTS of attention!

Well, fast forward 6 months after I got my tonsils out...I got my first symptom of Myasthenia Gravis, which was double vision.  I went undiagnosed for FIVE years, because every doctor I went to told me it was all in my head. I had an MRI under sedation, they laid me flat to run me through the machine, and I quit breathing. They had to call a code, do an emergency intubation, bag me through the test... But yeah...I have such amazing control of manifesting an incurable, neuromuscular disease that I could even do it completely unconsciously!  I'm just THAT good.  {eye roll}  

Even 2 of the neurology residents (and their superior) told me if I just accepted that it was all in my head I would get better. By this time, I was trached, on a vent, and barely conscious. But that was all me. Mmm hm. Faked 'em all out. PLEASE. So IF you even need neurology services and you're going to the U of Michigan, do NOT allow "Dr." Ming Hong to touch you. The other one was Andrea Bozoki or something like that. We just called her strawberry shortcake because she had red, curly hair, freckles, and was incredibly annoying. 

The trach was supposed to be temporary; I had double MRSA pneumonia, and they trached me to get me off the vent so I wouldn't die. Well, here I am almost 22 years later, and that blessed trach is still there. But that's okay. I'm here and I'm alive! I probably had my vocal cords nicked when the folks in the MRI suite had to do an emergency intubation, then I was on a vent for 2 and a half weeks... my vocal cords scarred shut and I have posterior glottic stenosis. (Basically paralyzed vocal cords.)

Fast forward til I'm 31: diagnosed as diabetic from so many steroids that were necessary to keep me alive.  Two weeks before my 35th birthday I found out I was pregnant. I was over the moon! Because of my health and the fact that I was "of advance maternal age" (nice, huh???), I was put on insulin, and no medication for MG.  But God....

I tell you all of this NOT to make you feel sorry for me.  I do NOT need pity.  I'm telling you this because during ALL of this...during my pregnancy at 35, with MG, diabetes, depression...ALL of it! God kept me in the palm of his hand. There were many "why's" and unknowns, but the Lord brought me through it.  It took SO much out of me, and it was tough. However, I carried my baby boy full term, and had a C-section. Jacob then spent 35 days in the ICU with transient, neonatal Myasthenia Gravis. I'll explain more of that later. 

My point through all of this is that even though things have been hard, God got me through.  He never ONCE left my side.  He protected me from SO many things.  Medically, there is NO reason for me to be alive.  There were many things (like my oxygen saturation going down to 27 at night for who knows how long... 27!!). That is not compatible with LIFE, let alone still having a working brain. There are so many others.

I have had some real downers in my life. But my GOD has never let me go. He has been there with me, holding my hand, sending people to me when and where I needed them... I am a living miracle, and obviously , God is not done with me yet. and I want people to realize that THEY are here for a reason.  YOU are here for a REASON. God has not taken you home yet because He's not done with you here.  I cannot tell you how firmly I believe that.  The head of the neuromuscular department at the U of M told me, when I went back for my first follow up, that there was no medical reason I should be there. I was a miracle.  And I don't believe he was a man of faith. I just told him God wasn't done with me yet!

What is it in your life that shows you God is there? That's God's not done with you? If you are struggling, please comment here or on Facebook and I will pray for you.  God is a God of miracles, and He has given me SO many GOOD things. He really is good, all the time!